How To Win Friends and Influence People: My Summary

Hello, Welcome to my blog where I talk about what I’m learning and books that I’ve read.

We all know that a good human relations can bring about greater achievement, promotion, sales, the lists are endless.

Due to these interesting results, I had planned to look into my characters and check if possibly there is room for adjustment which will in return leads me to get what I want easily.

In this blog post, I will be writing about a summary of a book that I found helpful, HOW TO WIN FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE BY DALE CARNEGIE. This book is really interesting, easy to understand with great examples and proven steps on each principle that one can put into immediate practice.

Anyways, with so many examples, I won’t be able to write a detailed summary, but I will try as much as possible to write the key lessons I learnt.

Let’s dive into.


Fundamental Techniques in Handling People


1. PRINCIPLE 1: Don’t criticize, condemn or complain.

“A great man shows his greatness,” said Carlyle, “by the way he treats little men. ”Instead of condemning people, let’s try to understand them. Let’s try to figure out why they do what they do.

That’s a lot more profitable and intriguing than criticism; and it breeds sympathy, tolerance and kindness. “To know all is to forgive all.”

2. PRINCIPLE 2: Give honest and sincere appreciation.

I consider my ability to arouse enthusiasm among my people,” said Schwab, “the greatest asset I possess, and the way to develop the best that is in a person is by appreciation and encouragement.

“Be hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise,” and people will cherish your words and treasure them and repeat them over a lifetime – repeat them years after you have forgotten them.

3. PRINCIPLE 3: Arouse in the other person an eager want.

Personally, I am very fond of strawberries and cream, but I have found that for some strange reason, fish prefer worms. So when I went fishing, I didn’t think about what I wanted. I thought about what they wanted. I didn’t bait the hook with strawberries and cream. Rather, I dangled a worm or a grasshopper in front of the fish and said: “Wouldn’t you like to have that?” Why not use the same common sense when fishing for people?

Tomorrow you may want to persuade somebody to do something. Before you speak, pause and ask yourself: “How can I make this person want to do it?”

“If there is any one secret of success, it lies in the ability to get the other person’s point of view and see things from that person’s angle as well as from your own.” First, arouse in the other person an eager want He who can do this has the whole world with him. He who cannot walks a lonely way.

Six Ways To Make People Like You

  • PRINCIPLE 1: Become genuinely interested in other people.
  • PRINCIPLE 2: Smile.
  • PRINCIPLE 3: Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
  • PRINCIPLE 4: Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
  • PRINCIPLE 5: Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
  • PRINCIPLE 6: Make the other person feel important-and do it sincerely.

How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking

  • PRINCIPLE 1: The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
  • PRINCIPLE 2: Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say, “You’re wrong.”
  • PRINCIPLE 3: If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
  • PRINCIPLE 4: Begin in a friendly way.
  • PRINCIPLE 5: Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately.
  •  PRINCIPLE 6: Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
  • PRINCIPLE 7: Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.  
  • PRINCIPLE 8: Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.
  • PRINCIPLE 9: Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires. 
  • PRINCIPLE 10: Appeal to the nobler motives.
  • PRINCIPLE 11: Dramatize your ideas.
  • PRINCIPLE 12: Throw down a challenge.

Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment

A leader’s job often includes changing your people’s attitudes and behavior. Some suggestions to accomplish this:

  • PRINCIPLE 1: Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
  • PRINCIPLE 2: Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.
  • PRINCIPLE 3: Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
  • PRINCIPLE 4: Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
  • PRINCIPLE 5: Let the other person save face.
  • PRINCIPLE 6: Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.”
  • PRINCIPLE 7: Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
  • PRINCIPLE 8: Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
  • PRINCIPLE 9: Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.

Thanks for reading.

Leave a Reply